On New Year's Eve
by MrsCatherineWinter
Summary: "Why not?" she asked accusingly. "Because one's heart and reason are not always saying or wanting the same" he explained. Hermione and Severus are sitting on a bench and are talking about the past, present – and (shared?) future…


_The first thing I have to say is that I am not a native speaker, so there might be a few mistakes… But I love the English language so much and I think that it has its own magic that I want to write in English._

_This is the translation of my story _"An einem Silvesternachmittag auf einer Bank am See"_ which I already published here. _

_I know that there will be a few mistakes in this story but if you would be so kind as to write me a message to tell me of them, I will immediately correct them :)_

_Well, I hope you like my story._

_Disclaimer: All figures belong to Joanne K. Rowling and I don't earn my money with these stories._

**On New Year's Eve **

It was the 31st December and Hermione's first year as a teacher at Hogwarts.

She sat on a bench on this clouded afternoon and looked over the frozen lake. It had snowed over the last couple of days and the white snowflakes had melted to a thick snow cover and had changed the castle and its surroundings into a completely winter paradise. It was really breathtakingly beautiful and Hermione wondered why she never realised this while she was a student.

Although her life had changed a lot, Hogwarts had always been Hogwarts and that was something very calming – one of the reasons why she stayed this year over the feasts.

Voldemort was now gone for three years and still the Wizarding Community tried to finally forget, but that was easier said than done, as Hermione thought. First she had worked for the Ministry of Magic but she didn't really like her job and so it was a great pleasure and honour for her when Minerva McGonagall had asked her to take _Transfiguration_ because she, Minerva, was nearly overstrained with the lessons _and_ her duties as Headmistress.

Also she wasn't together with Ron anymore. Only weeks after the final battle of Hogwarts they both had decided that it was better for them to stay friends. He was now happily married with Lavender. They had invited her, Hermione, for this New Year's Eve but she had refused.

Hermione had been without a constant partner over the last years…

She closed her eyes and stayed sitting motionless. It was cold but not so icy that she would shiver, and the cold was in a comfortable way calming.

"Good afternoon, Hermione, may I sit next to you?"

Hermione looked up at Severus Snape, who indeed had accomplished a friendly tone of voice, but couldn't manage a smile.

"Yes," she said very calmly but inwardly quite irritated, and slipped aside a bit.

He sat down and together they gazed silently over the lake.

"Why are you still at Hogwarts?" he asked after a while.

Hermione looked at him stunned and discovered true curiosity. Normally he just talked to her when it couldn't be avoided. "Because I decided this year to stay."

"Why don't you celebrate with your parents?"

Hermione saw again over the lake, with an expression of endless sadness. "I don't have parents anymore," she whispered. "I manipulated their memories before the war and sent them to Australia but when I tried to find them again they were undetectable. I haven't given up the search of course but I didn't manage to find them before this New Year's Eve. Maybe I will manage it next year…"

"I am sorry," he said truthfully.

Hermione just smiled sadly.

"Weren't you invited by anyone?"

"Oh, yes," she answered, now a bit more alive. "By Ron and Lavender, by Harry and Ginny, even by Mr and Mrs Weasley, but I wasn't in the mood for playing the intruder and therefore celebrate alone this year. And you, Severus?" She looked at him again.

"Lucius invited me but I don't want to feel like an intruder either, if I am allowed to quote you."

Hermione's face hardened on the mention of Lucius Malfoy. "I still think it's strange that he is allowed to live like he used to," she said bitterly.

"Hermione, Lucius did as bad things under Voldemort as I did. If you judge him, you must also judge me."

"He watched how I was tortured by Bellatrix! He simply stood there and watched! Here, look!" She lifted her arm, pushed back her sleeve of her jacket and her pullover and showed it Severus, who now looked petrified on the word _Mudblood_, which was scratched in there. Still the scar was red and so a big contrast to the pale skin. "It still embarrasses me to see it," Hermione continued while they both keep on looking on the word. "I mean, I am after all not able to help it that I was born this way. And to come to your indication that you and Mr Malfoy did the same injustice: I don't think that you would have been standing there and simply watched!"

Severus remained silent.

"Wouldn't you?" she asked suddenly scared and hurt. She drew back her arm and let the sleeve cover the word again.

He kept silent and still looked magnetised on the place where only a few seconds ago her arm had been, then he shook his head as if he wanted to force himself to come back into the present. "Probably not," he said. "But I can't say it definitely."

"Why not?" she asked accusingly.

"Because one's heart and reason are not always saying or wanting the same" he explained.

"What do you mean by that?"

They looked firmly into each other's eyes. "My heart tells me that I wouldn't have allowed this for a second. I would have pulled out my wand, hexed Bellatrix with uncountable, terrible curses and would have brought you out of that hell as fast as I could!" He had become louder in his speech and took therefore a deep breath before he continued. "But most likely my reason would have reserved me. I would have thought of the greater aim, the fall of the Dark Lord, and that I mustn't blow my cover a spy. I would have sacrificed you presumably."

She looked hurt away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's alright," she said and her voice sounded a bit drowned. "I know that you would have had to do the right thing which doesn't mean that it would have hurt less."

Then they both remained silent for a long while and looked like before over the frozen lake which started to sparkle when a few rays of sunlight were able to push themselves through the grey of the clouds.

"How are you actually?" Hermione asked after sometime to change the topic and to talk again.

"How am I?" Severus asked astonished. „I can't remember when I was asked this the last time…" He seemed to linger shortly in his memories and Hermione didn't urge him. Finally he asked, now almost unsure: "Do you want to hear the standard answer or the truth?"

"The truth, of course," Hermione decided immediately.

"Well, then," Snape said and sighed. "Not so well as someone might think. I haven't handled all these years of Voldemort's tyranny yet and have got now in addition an almost panic fear of snakes. There is hardly a night in which I don't wake up of horrible nightmares."

Hermione stared at him with an open mouth.

"What?" he asked.

She quickly closed her mouth and said slowly then: "That… You… I mean… That was a truly answer of my question."

Her astonishment seemed to amuse him. "Of course, you had asked for that after all."

"Yes," she admitted, "but I had never believed that _you_ would trust especially _me_ with something this private!"

"And why not?" he asked.

"Easy: Because you don't like me," she answered bitterly and turned away from him again.

He remained silent for a moment. "And why do you think so?"

"Why do I think so?" she shouted acute and looked into his eyes. "Because you were always mean to me during my schooldays and didn't really save on your acrimonious and partial absolutely hurting comments. And now that I am a teacher you still talk to me only the absolutely necessary und don't find me most of the time worthy enough as to look at me. And you ask me why I think that you don't like me?!" During her speech she had become louder and in the meantime a few tears had begun to run over her face. Angry with herself she turned away from him and wiped aggressive the tears away. She cried – and that in front of him! – how awful…

Severus stayed calm. "And why have I then been sitting next to you and talked to you?"

"I'm asking me the same question all the time, too", she replied a bit sarcastic.

"Then do it?"

"What?" she asked irritated.

"Ask me why I have been sitting next to you," he answered amused.

"That's ridiculous!" she shouted angered, rose and wanted to go but he kept her back by holding her wrist. "I don't play cat-and-mouse!" she spat at him.

Slowly he rose and set close before her.

Hermione's breath fastened automatically. _Damned love_, she railed against herself inwardly. _This man doesn't bring anything than trouble!_

"Please," he said, quiet now. „Please ask me, Hermione."

She considered frenetically what to do now. She didn't want to obey him just like she used to as a silly schoolgirl, but on the other hand he – Severus Snape! – had said _please_. Sighing she asked: "Why have you been sitting next to me and talked to me?"

Now he smiled and she couldn't believe what she was going to hear: „Because I wanted to invite you to celebrate New Year's Eve with me."

She laid her head askew and looked at him intent as if she wanted to know if he was lying or saying the truth.

As if he had read her thoughts – which he maybe really did – he suddenly leaned forward to give her a tender kiss on her forehead.

In the first moment she was shocked – and realised astonished that she had closed her eyes for a short moment – but then a growing smile spread her face.

"I would love to celebrate New Year's Eve with you," she answered finally quiet and could see therefore the most likely happiest smile of him in his entire life.

THE END.

_If anyone would like me to translate their stories from English into German (in which I hardly make any mistakes :) ), then just write me a message and I will think about it. :)_


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